From Titanic Fears to Tranquil Waters: To Cruise or Not to Cruise?

A Buddymoon Journey from Skepticism to Serenity in Hạ Long Bay

Rough Chop is a bi-monthly tasty and emotional freestyle. These are the golden snapshots of life, seen from the edge of your favorite knife, stories told through the lens of food and travel. Rough Chop is entirely user-supported. I offer a free subscription to all, so please subscribe and follow! If you enjoy what you’re reading, every paid subscription level contributes to sustaining this hungry writer and is greatly appreciated. Now, let's continue our adventure…

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Confession time: My red flag is that I like to fall asleep to British murder mystery audiobooks, specifically those centered around a female lead character. There's something about the gentle yet assertive tone of the narrator, the sinister plot lines, and the delightful British colloquialisms like 'bollocks' and 'sod off' that my subconscious finds soothing, helping me let go of the stresses of the day and drift into sleep. While listening to my most recent audiobook about a British reporter who witnesses a murder on a luxury cruise, I find my mind wandering back to my own luxury cruise experience. I never imagined I’d be a cruise ship kind of gal. In fact, I hold specific prejudices against them for particular reasons.

Like resorts, the food can be hit or miss. I travel to eat, and if I can’t have a sensational, authentic culinary and cultural exploration, then I already know it’s not a trip for me. Second, from what I’ve seen online, the destination drop-off points appear to be artificial tourist traps, buzzing with things like “excursions” and “cultural immersions” designed to overcharge and under-deliver in settings that feel like a cheap replica to commodify what the culture is all about. Finally, you're trapped on a boat in the open sea. Perhaps it’s irrational, but this terrifies me. I’m a child of the '90s who grew up watching our Titanic 2-tape VHS on repeat. The last scene of the first tape is this one here, forever etched into my core memories, likely because I knew when this scene was over it was time to change the tape. I can just picture Victor Garber uttering the line, “Titanic will founder.” I can tell you right now, that I will not founder at sea. Nope. Not me.

So, knowing my natural aversion to cruises, how did I find myself on one this past summer? Well, it all started with our trip to Vietnam, where we attended our friend's glamorous wedding. Instead of a honeymoon, they did a “buddymoon” and invited us on a luxury cruise through Hạ Long Bay, one of the world's seven natural wonders. Right there, two keywords made this unlike the Carnival Cruise nightmare image I have in my mind: “luxury” and “natural wonder.” This cruise was only one night long, a very low-risk duration. We weren’t in the open ocean, but rather in a calm and stunning bay surrounded by centuries-old natural limestone giants and several other cruise ships (plenty of backup in case we began to founder).

First, let’s get into the luxury elements of a luxury cruise. We were delivered to the port in golf carts, and upon entering the boat, we were greeted with cool, lavender aromatherapy towels and mint water. As a reminder, Vietnam in the summertime is a constant assault of heat and humidity, so these refreshing touches were a welcoming way to instantly transport you into a state of refreshing calm. I felt like Kate Winslet walking into a cherrywood-covered cabin, adorned with gold finishings. One wall was a giant picture window leading to our private balcony to give us an unobstructed view of the natural wonders of Hạ Long Bay. We could lay in our extremely comfortable and plush king-size bed, taking in the beauty as it passed us by. Perhaps my favorite touch was a small one, a captain's window that framed the scenery in a uniquely nautical way. The bathrooms were small but private. However, in some of the other suites, their bathrooms could be quite luxurious, including a clawfoot tub directly under a skylight. Other suites had a private hot tub on their balcony. There are amenities such as TV and occasional internet, but when I’m surrounded by beauty and comfort, I prefer to abandon those things for the analog comforts of a book or my journal.

Now, for the excursions. The cruise offered a packed schedule of activities and outings. There was a cooking class, kayaking, shucking pearls, a hike to the top of one of the limestone mountains, cave exploring, and a morning tai chi session. I opted for kayaking, hiking to the top of the mountain, and the cave exploration so I could experience the magic of Hạ Long Bay from top to bottom and inside out. These excursions, however, are where the cruise cringe began to appear. Chaos in one form or another met us at every excursion. Getting to and from the kayak drop-off location felt frenzied, the hike to the top of the mountain was very much a tourist trap. Dozens of cruise ships dropped off hundreds of tourists to scale a single stairway to the top of a single viewpoint. And the cave exploration was very similar. Each had an overpriced gift and snack shop. All this aside, I’m glad I went on the excursions simply to take full advantage of what the cruise had to offer, and to get an up-close look at one of the planet’s seven natural wonders.

Finally, the food. Let’s get into it. The food was exactly what I’d expect with cruise ship food. Because our party was English, we were only given the option of English cuisine. However, looking at the other tables, they were enjoying Vietnamese food. We were jealous, to say the least, as the English food had a lot of suspicious textures and flavorless flare. However, at every meal, there was a buffet where we were able to find a few good things to fill up on. The bar was not open, and in fact, all the drinks were quite expensive compared to Vietnamese prices. Even the water had to be purchased at an overpriced rate, an actual nightmare for a Pisces like me.

All that aside, the luxury cruise through Hạ Long Bay was one of, if not my favorite activities we did while in Vietnam. The sunset was breathtaking, and it opened up to a clear night sky brilliantly lit with the radiant moon and stars. Seeing dark figures of the limestone giants against the moonlight gave me the eerie feeling I love while in nature. The feeling of being small in a great big universe. In the morning, I skipped the tai chi session to enjoy a coffee, pastry, and solitude on our private deck with my journal and watched the natural beauty of Hạ Long Bay wake up. This, my friends, is forever my happy place. Surrounded by water and natural wonders with a coffee, tasty treat, and pen to paper. Small boats weave in between the cruise ships with fishermen and merchants trying to sell items to the cruise ship guests (a big no-no which we were warned against at our welcome drinks).

To my surprise, this experience slightly shifted my opinion of cruises. Of course, nothing is just one thing, they aren’t all floating cities in the middle of the ocean. Smaller, shorter river cruises are an intimate way to get up close and personal with the natural beauties of this world. But this does come at a cost. Not just a monetary cost, as cruises, in general, are one of the most expensive ways to experience a destination, but an environmental and cultural one as well.

The water of Hạ Long Bay is too polluted to swim in, and I can’t help but think of how that has affected the ecology and livelihoods of those who call Hạ Long Bay home, both above and below the waters. The water wasn’t always polluted. It’s a direct result of the high volume of boats, tourists, and litter that have caused a lasting impact on this natural wonder.

That being said, I’m again reminded of the perspective shifts that travel can inspire. So if you find yourself in Vietnam with the means and ability to visit Hạ Long Bay, a luxury cruise isn’t a bad way to do it if I do say so myself.